I think the whole earth day thing is a good idea. We'd all be better off if we took good care of the planet. I actually even want to support it. But I've come to the conclusion today that I have a long way to go before I can say that I'm earth friendly. For on this very day, I broke the following taboos:
- I called the black, medium-sized ants in my bathroom bad names, and then squished them with my finger and washed them down the sink. I just can't think friendly thoughts about ants. These ants are particularly annoying, because they don't have the common courtesy to come out in large enough numbers so that I can tell where they're coming from. So I am continuously squishing their scouts. Hope to piss them off enough to evoke a full scale war.
- I sprayed a half-built wasp nest off the side of my house. I hate wasps even more than ants. Couldn't kill the wasp that was making the nest, though, even though I ambushed it three times. Darn sucker can take a lot of water and still fly away. But I did manage to squirt down a couple of yellow jackets, which I promptly squished under my sneaker. Ooh, that brings me even more happiness than squishing ants.
- I created environmental hell by barbecuing hamburgers. Yes, I know that this is a double sin, because cows produce a lot of the greenhouse gases, and the smoke from my barbecue looked like a two-alarm fire. I tried to compensate for this by not emitting my own methane, but failed. Make that a triple sin.
Poor mother earth.
I think the whole earth day thing is a good idea. We'd all be better off if we took good care of the planet. I actually even want to support it. But I've come to the conclusion today that I have a long way to go before I can say that I'm earth friendly. For on this very day, I broke the following taboos: