Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day 2009

I think the whole earth day thing is a good idea. We'd all be better off if we took good care of the planet. I actually even want to support it. But I've come to the conclusion today that I have a long way to go before I can say that I'm earth friendly. For on this very day, I broke the following taboos:
  • I called the black, medium-sized ants in my bathroom bad names, and then squished them with my finger and washed them down the sink. I just can't think friendly thoughts about ants. These ants are particularly annoying, because they don't have the common courtesy to come out in large enough numbers so that I can tell where they're coming from. So I am continuously squishing their scouts. Hope to piss them off enough to evoke a full scale war.
  • I sprayed a half-built wasp nest off the side of my house. I hate wasps even more than ants. Couldn't kill the wasp that was making the nest, though, even though I ambushed it three times. Darn sucker can take a lot of water and still fly away. But I did manage to squirt down a couple of yellow jackets, which I promptly squished under my sneaker. Ooh, that brings me even more happiness than squishing ants.
  • I created environmental hell by barbecuing hamburgers. Yes, I know that this is a double sin, because cows produce a lot of the greenhouse gases, and the smoke from my barbecue looked like a two-alarm fire. I tried to compensate for this by not emitting my own methane, but failed. Make that a triple sin.
Poor mother earth.

1 comment:

Lacking Productivity said...

I'm pretty sure all the things you mentioned are included under the "acceptable human behavior" addendum under the being green umbrella, so you are fine, as am I.