Being male, I am no stranger to men's restrooms. I understand a lot of the unwritten rules. I know not to talk to people who are peeing next to me. I try to leave an open urinal between me and the next guy whenever possible. I don't assume a wide stance in a stall. And I recognize that even if me and a friend should enter a restroom at the same time, we are nonetheless doing so as separate individuals and not as a group. Going to the restroom is considered a solitary activity by men.Despite my deep understanding of the social practices involved in using a men's restroom, I have lately experienced restroom behaviors that I think fall into the gray area. For example, on several occasions I have been minding my own business, focusing my attention completely on the tiles directly above the urinal I'm using when the guy next to me rips one loud enough to rattle the light fixtures. Admittedly, the bathroom is the appropriate place for such behavior. But shouldn't you take a stall if you're intent on blowing a hole in your shorts? At the very least you should give some warning that an explosion is coming, such as coughing, shuffling your feet, or yelling, "Fire in the hole!" I wish those guys had.
And then a couple of weeks ago, I was washing my hands when the guy in the corner stall got a phone call. To my surprise, he answered it, which didn’t technically violate the no talking rule since the other party wasn’t in that particular bathroom. However, when he had to ask that person to repeat him- or herself each time a toilet flushed, I got a little creeped out. It felt so dirty.
Perhaps the most startling behavior, though, happened a few days ago when the guy in the stall next to me suddenly started whistling the theme song from Star Wars. What’s up with that? What's he doing that made him think of that particular song? Destroying a planet with his deathstar? I quickly finished my business before I had to witness the destruction. He was still whistling it when I left.
All of these recent experiences have made me realize that bathroom etiquette for the male is not as clear cut as I originally thought. Someone needs to come forward and address these issues, setting the record straight for the rest of us. Until then, however, please keep your movie theme music to yourself. And if you hear flushing on the other side of a phone conversation, be sure to wash your hands after you hang up.
3 comments:
Oh yes. It feels much better here.
Despite the somewhat social atmosphere that the women's bathroom can be...I hate it. I can't stand when women have conversations through the stall walls. I hate when they hang out in there. I am pretty creeped out by the couch thing. I wonder at what point the women's bathroom switched from being a space of necessity to a sort of exclusive social club for those who can't take a long enough break from their girlfriends to flush out their systems.
I can verify the creepiness factor of the stall-centered cell phone conversations. I once listened to a young man talk to his mother about his dating life, discussing the possibility that his expectations were just too high. Listen: If you're talking on the cell phone with your mother from a men's room stall, high standards are not your problem.
Second, I have always been grateful that I was spared the compulsive personality that would require me to brush my teeth in a men's restroom. Sorry, the atmosphere there is just too redolent of other activities for me to believe that my oral health would come out much improved.
We try to avoid the public restroom at all costs! When the kids get home from work or school there better not be anyone in the restroom cause you know that is the first place they head when they get home. When you are in the womens restroom ladies are alway peeking through the cracks in the doors to be sure the door is locked for a reason. Women do feel like it is a club in there...I think it is icky, plus they smell! It would be way worse to be a guy though, who invented those urinals anyway?
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